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2019 22 November

Let’s Get Over “I’ll Do It Tomorrow Syndrome”, or 5 Ways to Avoid Postponing the Happiness of Parenthood

According to WHO, infertility can be diagnosed if a couple fails to achieve a clinical pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse. In this connection, we suggest considering time to be an invaluable resource.

In real life, most couples that have already gone through these 12 months tend to put off their seeing a fertility specialist for several years. Paradoxically, they are aware of the fact that modern reproductive medicine offers a widest scope of effective methods to treat infertility and that turning to an IVF clinic late exerts negative influence on successful outcome. Let us see into the most widespread reasons of “I’ll do it tomorrow” syndrome.

What actually prevents people from making the initial step on the way to happiness?

Reason 1. Months or years spent in the mode of waiting for natural pregnancy onset  create an illusion of living in a usual and thus protected condition.  Once you make an attempt at leaving the protective shell, you find yourself in the state of uncertainty and obscurity.

What we know about it. Not unfrequently patients stay under an illusion of being ‘protected’ only because they fail to understand that fear of change paralyzes their way of thought and action.   Apart from that, people will sooner or later face a yet more powerful emotion – fear of living their entire life and never becoming parents. When we make efforts to give birth to a new life, we psychologically challenge the deepest human fears, and by doing so we get over them.

Recommended action. First, we admit that we are afraid. Then we analyze why. After that we make the first step to the cherished dream.

Reason 2. Insufficient, non-professional or distorted information. All of us tend to do ‘research’ of medical issues in the most accessible resource – the Internet. Information about IVF and other ART is abundant, but each of us subconsciously focuses exclusively on the points which support our beliefs or general attitudes. If the negative attitude prevails, people would rather accumulate information concerning risks involved in ART procedures.

What we know about it.  The sole advantage of widely accessible information about IVF on the Internet is its wide accessibility. It is not personified, which means that it may be absolutely irrelevant to your case. Individual characteristics of your organism and health condition can only be evaluated by a practicing doctor. Besides, developing a treatment plan in reproductive medicine cannot be one-size-fits-all. All case are different. Every detail matters. Beyond that, any pregnancy irrelevant of how it was achieved bears in itself certain risks.

Recommended action. We take information critically and on a case by case basis.  We do not let others’ attitudes and experience be thrust upon us. We remember: a medical issue can be solved by a skilled doctor.  It is vital to choose a fertility specialist you will trust and rely on. In this case you will be able to correlate the risks and ability to give birth to your child.

Reason 3. Fear of being physiscally intervented into your body. Subconsciously we take any medical manipulation or surgery to be a menace to our organism. It does not even matter how serious the procedure is.  This type of fear is of deep physiological origin.

What we know about it. Keeping the body safe is a deeply individual psychological  feature of any organism. There is nothing wrong about having a fear like this. It is a protective mechanism which safeguards our body from being physically injured.  At the same time, our behavior can be regulated by our consciousness, our capability of rational thinking.  

Recommended action. Do your best and give a clear answer to the question: what exactly are you afraid of? Anesthesia, injections, hormonal therapy? When you concretize your fear, honestly tell your doctor about it and discuss actual risks involved. The better you understand the procedure, the easier it is to make a decision.

Reason 4. A wide-spread social opinion of IVF kids being different from all the others.  Such a latent (and sometimes even openly manifested) psychological pressure is put on couples which are under too much stress already. Not everyone has the courage to  withstandtheir social group. To make the whole matter worse, this pressure can even be of religious character.  

What we know about it. Humans are highly social beings. It is essential for them to belong to or to meet expectations and ethical norms of a community they belong to. At the same time, building up relationship ‘an individual – society’ is far from being easy for all of us. Here, we must answer one single question: do I choose a chance of becoming a parent or do I prefer remaining similar to the others?

Recommended action. Let us be honest with ourselves: the modern world long ago left behind the times when ‘tube babies’ were pointed the finger of scorn at.   Try and recollect how many famous and successful people have not just decided to conceive their babies in vitro, but also told the whole world about it.  Do your best not to be captured by other people’s prejudice. Concentrate on building your own happiness.  

Reason 5. Non-realistic expectations. Unfortunately,  people who wish for a baby often take IVF to be the last resort which guarantees the result – birth of a baby after the first attempt.  Here, the psychological mechanism ‘ win or gets triggered. Attempts at conceiving a baby naturally go on for years, time is wasted, and along with time – chances for achieving a pregnancy.  

What we know about it. Modern assisted reproductive technologies are a powerful weapon to treat infertility, a product of intensive scientific research. However, medicine can hardly guarantee anything. IVF is not magic, likewise fertility specialists are not wizards. A patient’s journey to the long-awaited result may take months and sometimes even years.  Causes if infertility or recurrent miscarriages can hardly be identified in a day. But the sooner you start acting, the higher your chances for success are.  

Recommended action.  To avoid caught in a psychological trap ‘win or lose’, start thinking IVF not as the final stage, but as a stage on the way to the birth of your baby.  In this case, your psychological mindset to a process, but not a single-time procedure will help you take a probable failure in good sense and keep on moving.

GC-IVF will fill your universe with your new baby’s smile! Just let us know that you need our help and support.

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